Erm were do I start,,what i am going to write in the next 5 maybe 10 minutes could even lead to 15 depending on how wild I am feeling.. can either go the way I have planed in my head ( I go abit wild on my own thought process sometimes) or tuis will be known as the worst ever blog in history, either way, I tried.

So here goes…

Honesty, brutal honesty is what i have been told makes a blog. I hear about all the blogs,amazing blogs may I say, and I thought it was time I joined this community, and spoke about what I also believe in,because I feel this is some were I can, about things that I struggle with daily , and I hope i can reach a community that can relate to me.

Lauren here, 32 in June, I have 2 amazing children, both boys, Nathan is 15 and Ronin is 7.. lights of my life I have high functioning anxiety and can be an ablosute nightmare… Just like every other human being, but because I have a LABEL I always look the worst for it. Now I don’t look the worst to anyone else but MYSELF.. are you confused by what i mean? Because I am, because that’s what my anxiety does to me. And this is why i am starting this blog, am also a sufferer of psoriasis for 20 years and that is also another reason for this, they come hand and hand for me. My body is my own worst enemy, DAILY!! And i what to change that, i want to change that with women, men, anyone, anyone who hates to look in the mirror, anyone who can’t love someone because they don’t love themselves, to the person who thinks they are defined by mental health,sexuality, race, gender, religion, skin problems,( just problems : how can I word this differently?? Because problems aren’t just problems, society makes myself and others feel we need brackets for our illnesses? When we Don’t, because an illness isnt something that should be compared against, it isn’t fun to have an illness, it’s far from it, so why would/should we have brackets? In my mind that’s what they ….

For a long time I have ummed, and arghed to express how anxiety and Psoriasis, for as long as i can remember one or the other always play a part in my life, most of the time together.. they come hand in hand and I think forever will, i hope from this I can find comfort in my own flaky, scaly skin, and you also yours.

That I can begin to love me, MY anxiety, MY anxiety, it’s mine ( i need to express how it’s mine, am sick of being compared to everyone else with anxiety, once again, brackets!!) And if some days I allow it to swallow me into the biggest sink hole, then that’s more than ok. And if some days, maybe weeks I forget am ever anxious at all, then that’s more than ok.

And when it creeps back up when I thought it had gone and my skin had finally started to show my freckles again, but the burn in my chest and stomach returns, and my skin burns bright red and bleeds and cracks, and I cant look in the mirror again for a while.. I will always remember that, it’s more than ok to feel this way.

So am guessing you might of also guessed this is my first ever blog,…Am making it into a therapy session 🤯

Hopefully This is were i find me.. And hope this is were you find you

Love for eternity

Lozza